Completely Fill In The Bubble

Confession Time...

I hate standardized tests. I didn't like them as a kid having to take them and I don't like them as a parent having to watch my own children stress over them. As someone with many friends who are teachers, I don't think it is fair that they are required to put so much emphasis on these tests, taking away from the quality and creative teaching and personal attention that great teachers so desperately want to do. Honestly, when I was in school (back in the stone-age, according to my kids), if my being promoted was solely dependent upon my passing a standardized test, I'm pretty sure I would have repeated more than one grade and possibly more than once. Yes, I would have been the 30 year old 5th grader. In my opinion, these tests are a joke. And yes, some will argue that they measure intelligence and material retention, etc., etc.,  And for some students, I am sure that is true. But not for all students.

So, why do I think that? Well, here's my story...

I was never a top student, overachiever or head of the class. I was your typical don't raise your hand, do the work and pray you got the answer right type of student. If I were musically inclined, I could have played scales with the grades on my report cards. Language Arts came easily to me and was consistently my highest grades. I loved reading, writing, spelling and grammar. I was thrilled to be either a writer or an editor for various school and college publications.  So, it was no surprise that I earned my BA in English. But, I'm getting ahead of myself. Yes, I always did well in my Language Arts classes, but not every subject came that easily. Math was my demise. We had a mutual dislike aversion hate for each other. Well, I hated Math. I don't know Math's feelings towards me, but since I found it difficult to understand and it continually got harder, I'm convinced it was just doing it on purpose to punish me. As such, Math was consistently my lowest grades. We finally came to a mutual understanding, I would suffer and do only what was required of me to pass and graduate, and then when I was done it had to leave me alone.

My two constants throughout school: good grades in Language Arts and a 24-hour prayer vigil for a passing grade in Math that was usually followed by a 24-hour lecture on studying, grades, graduation and college.

There was another constant for me throughout school. That constant involved standardized testing. Beginning of the year tests, mid-year tests, end of year tests, practice college placement tests, real college placement tests...they all had the same results. Higher score in Language Arts, lower score in Math, right? WRONG! It is true, I consistently scored higher in Math than I did in Language Arts on all of the standardized tests I took. Oh, the problems this created! My teachers and parents couldn't understand why I would do so poorly in class only to score fairly well on these "special" tests that measure intelligence and retention. It was proclaimed that I was just lazy and simply not putting forth the effort in class because the tests showed that I clearly understood Math.

If someone were to put a standardized test in front of me today, I can honestly say that I don't know what the score would be. I still hate Math. I still struggle with Math. But what I can show them is how to make really cool designs with the fill-in bubbles. Which is exactly what I did when it came to the math portion on all those standardized tests.

A measure of intelligence? Not mine. A measure of creativity and pure luck? Absolutely!

If Life Were Like An Old Movie...

I love watching old movies. I should clarify, not just any old movies. I prefer the black and white chick flicks of the day. I'm not a John Wayne fan and can do without cowboys, gunfights, and soldiers trudging through mud.

I spent part of the day today watching a classic from the 1930's. I'm sure it didn't win any Academy awards, but it is a classic in my book nonetheless. Why? The reason is simple. Oh, if life were only like an old black and white.

This particular movie centered around four sisters. I can relate, as I am one of four sisters. I will refer to them as Sister A, Sister B, Sister C and Sister D.

Exhibit 1: Sister C, who is rocking a flat-as-Texas stomach, goes into labor. Seriously, there was absolutely no bulge, bump or bloating whatsoever! Really?!? I was sporting the beached whale look months before I gave birth.

Exhibit 2: After giving birth to a "preemie" (not sure how preemie, given the figure of the expectant mother!), Sister C is presented with her newborn. Enter hospital nurse carrying a 4-month old. I could have done without the first few months of no sleep and round-the-clock feedings!

Exhibit 3: Nowhere in Sister C's hospital room is there a plastic water pitcher with matching plastic cup, bed pan, beeping machines with wires going everywhere, etc. Instead, set out neatly on the bedside table are the patient's silver hairbrushes (I am only guessing that they were silver since the movie was in black & white). Okay, the next time I am in the hospital, please dispense of all equipment, plastic ware, dry erase boards and latex glove containers mounted to the wall.  Instead, carefully place my hairbrushes on my bedside table (an equal distance apart from each other). I mean, that is really all that anyone needs anyway, right?

Exhibit 4:  When bringing hospital food to Sister C, it is not brought in on a plastic school lunchroom tray with plastic lids hiding the unpalatable morsels beneath. Nope. Her food was brought in on a silver tray complete with china tea set. Ok, so maybe she had a better HMO plan that I did!

Exhibit 5:  When learning that her husband would be returning from his tour "by winter", she responds with "She (the baby) will be 4 or 5 months old by then and talking really well."  Hmm, talking at 4 or 5 months and then maybe walking by 6 months, reading at 7 months and completely potty trained by 8 months. Yeah, I could deal with that. Just think, I could have a college graduate by the time my baby turns 3!

Enough of Sister C, let's move on to Sister A.

Exhibit 6:  Deciding that she wants to have a child, but not actually give birth, Sister A decides to adopt. She fills out the form, tells her husband afterwards and then all she has to do is wait...for about two weeks. And here we had multiple forms & evaluations, home studies, interviews, parenting classes, etc, etc, etc, and a 3 1/2 year wait, during which my husband had to be completely involved.

Exhibit 7:  Soon after adopting, Sister A gives birth to twins. Aww. Now enter Sister B and her husband who politely ask Sister A and her husband "Since you now have twins, could we have little _____ (insert adopted baby's name)." Yes, they are playing a round of hand-me-down children. Oh, you have two boys and I have two girls, so let's trade one!

I will note here that Sister D spent the entire movie chasing down a prospective husband. No baby drama for her.

Oh yes, if life were like an old movie I'd still fit into a Size 0, wouldn't know what a 2am feeding was, my hair would always be perfect, I would eat off of china & silver everyday (rather than plastic and styrofoam), I would have given birth to an infant prodigy, would have avoided endless adoption forms and parenting classes, and could have traded kids with my sisters!

My Cheerleading Top Ten

The Top Ten things I have learned since my daughter started competitive cheerleading:

10.   People drink a heck of a lot of beer at NFL games!

        (Thank you for your patronage to our fundraising efforts!)

9.     You will never be able to remove all the glitter from your clothing, body, car or home!

8.     When it comes to bows, Minnie Mouse reigns supreme!

7.     Why join a fitness gym when you get to lug around a duffle bag, backpack, make-up 

        case, shoe case, gift bags, blanket, jacket etc, etc, etc, not to mention YOUR own stuff 

        at every competition??

6.     Real dedication means keeping that girl up in the air even when your shorts fall down to   

        your ankles!

        (Yes, this really happened! Luckily it was at practice and not in competition.)

5.     Why fly when you can ride in a bus for 13 hours (one way!) with 50 of your closest friends?

4.     For some reason, the cheerleaders can raise more money at car washes than the 

        parents can.

3.     Have your hearing checked regularly because you will eventually lose it.

2.     Your car will become your second home.

1.     To avoid carpal tunnel, it is easier to just hand over your checkbook!

Bren

My Two Cents Worth!

Actually, the more accurate title would be a much larger figure than .02, but that figure is no one else's business, so I will stick with the old .02 adage.

Lately, I have been reading a lot of articles on the subject of cheerleading. There is much debate on whether cheerleading should or should not be considered a sport. There is also much discussion as to whether parents should even allow their child/ren to participate. Some are of the opinion that cheerleading is just a waste of time and money. So, here is where I rant inform about cheerleading...

People have asked me, and others have just wondered, why we spend so much time and money for our daughter to cheer. Some have even gone as far as to ask how this is going to help her later in life or what are we hoping this will achieve? First of all, her idea of  "later in life" is Friday. Others have been quick to point out that cheerleading has one of the highest injury rates in the nation. It's true, cheerleading is dangerous - just as is every other sport that requires great physical exertion.

Cheerleading is NOT all about bubbly school girls with pom poms. However, that is the general public's idea of a cheerleader. Yes, school cheerleaders typically have pom poms that they shake while shouting a few cheers in support of their school's team. They probably do a few jumps and maybe a stunt or two or even a pyramid.  Some schools have competitive squads, which take cheerleading to a higher skill level. It is this type of cheerleading (school and/or rec) in which the most injuries occur. Falling off the top of a pyramid onto a wooden gymnasium floor or hard football field does not do the body good.

Cheerleading is also NOT all about the NFL or NBA dancers you see on TV in their booty shorts, bra tops and gyrating for the cameras and drunken fans. They work hard and get paid very little, but are dancers nonetheless.

Then there is competitive All Star cheerleading. These cheerleaders train year-round with certified coaches who help them develop their skills to the ultimate level. They practice and compete on spring floors padded with thick foam. Yes, it still hurts when you fall off the top of the pyramid, but you are much less likely to be injured. These cheerleaders compete at all levels, from the beginner to the elite. These cheerleaders not only perform for judges, they are performing for an audience. Their routines, which consist of stunting, pyramids, tumbling, cheer and dance, have to be perfect. These are the cheerleaders that college coaches look at first. But, as with any competitive independent (outside of school) sport, there are costs. And yes, it adds up. We have to pay for uniforms, special shoes, coaching fees, choreography fees, travel costs, bows (yes, bows are still the signature attire of a cheerleader), competition fees, and the lists goes on.

This is what my daughter does, All Star cheerleading. This is what she excels at. This is what she is passionate about. This is what she has never, in the three years she has been participating, asked to miss. Never. Not once. In fact, she begs to go early and stay late. EVERYDAY. Even when she is not practicing, she is asking to go to the gym. It has become her second home and the coaches, cheerleaders and parents have become her second family.  This is my child who refuses to speak to people she doesn't know and who hides behind me when spoken to. This is my child who, once she sets foot on the competition floor, becomes a very self confident, talented and athletic entertainer. Why wouldn't I want my child to be a cheerleader? Which is why you will most likely find me helping out at the gym, selling beer at NFL games, washing cars, holding bake sales & hot dog sales, selling candy bars, and doing whatever else I need to do to pay for my daughter to do what she loves to do!

For those who wonder where cheerleading will get her in life, I say where ever she wants to go! Beyond the college scholarships and the careers in coaching, there is an endless list of opportunities in the cheer industry (if that is what she wants to do). There are competition directors, cheer companies (big and small), gym owners, uniform designers, choreographers, cheer camps organizers and staffers, magazines devoted to nothing but cheerleading, radio & TV stations, videographers, photographers, etc., etc., etc.... So, for me, every dollar I spend on cheerleading I see as an investment in her future. Besides, who doesn't want to see their child happy!

Cheerleading requires dedication, commitment and sacrifices. It certainly is not for everyone.

One last thing...
For those who think that cheerleading is not a sport, try this:
From a standing position, throw yourself backwards while doing a full spin sideways before landing on your feet. Then, jump up in the air twice with your legs in a full spread eagle and touch your toes. As soon as your feet hit the floor, jump backwards again into a tuck and land on your feet. Then immediately throw yourself into two back handsprings before spinning into a full sideways twist. Then, go into another series of jumps, and they had better be pretty. Then run across the floor, fling yourself into a sideways tuck stepping out of it in one smooth motion before spinning sideways in the air once more. Don't fall! Then try a cartwheel, but you can't use your hands - at all. Go seamlessly into a choreographed dance, throw yourself into another backwards tuck, maybe throw in a front tuck for good measure before flying across the floor again and doing another sideways spin, only this time you spin two times around before landing, on your feet not your butt. Now do all of this (plus a few more things) while smiling, and we haven't even gotten to the stunting part! How about standing on one leg while three of your teammates hold you up in the air by the bottom of one foot. Now, take your other foot and pull it up over your head. Don't lean forward or backward or sideways - you might fall. Can't do it? My daughter can. She's ten and a cheerleader!

Bren
An Always Supportive Cheer Mom

Can I get a loan for a hair cut?

When did getting your hair done necessitate taking out a second mortgage? For me personally, if I want my hair cut, colored and styled it will cost me $150 at the salon in my town that hasn't made me look like the end of a Q-Tip or had me sporting a pond-scum color. I enjoy getting my hair done, but honestly, I can think of at least 150 other things I could do with $150. So, I usually end up needing or doing something else instead. I haven't had my hair done since July. Yes, I said July. I tried coloring it myself. It was supposed to be Soft Brown. At least that is what the box said. And the model on the cover had beautiful soft brown hair. I'm guessing now it was either her natural color or a good use of PhotoShop (probably the later). My hair, on the other hand, was a light reddish brown. More emphasis on red than brown here. Oh well, I had to embrace my red self because I had 150 other things I needed to spend $150 on.

Today, I took my daughter to get her hair done. She has not had it professionally done in two years. Yes, I said two years. Needless to say, my daughter's hair was in desperate need of some professional help. It was beyond dry, broken off and had more split ends than a freshly plowed wheat field. I've tried to do my daughter's hair. Really, I have. But her hair is of a different texture and requires different care than anyone in my family. I was in way over my head and needed to call in the professional. "Bruce" was wonderful. He didn't berate me too badly over the condition of her hair. He guided me through exactly what he was doing and what it was going to take to get my daughter's hair back to a shiny and healthy state. Several treatments of this, several trims here, this shampoo, that conditioner, this moisturizer, that creme, this spritzer..... (I will state here, for the record, that he was not trying to sell me any products. And I did not purchase any either. He was simply informing me of what needed to be done.) Dollar signs were flashing through my mind like an out of control cash register. To be realistic, I KNOW I've spent as much, if not more, in all the wrong products for her hair in a feeble attempt to repair it myself. I finally passed out when he told me that what she really needed in a few months, once he was able to get the hair all healthy again, was a special treatment. A $300 treatment! I knew she needed this treatment. I had been told by others many times before (none hair professionals, but with similar hair). They had just avoided telling me how much this treatment would cost. I guess they know me all too well and figured I would find 300 OTHER things to do.

After her first appointment, her hair is beautiful. It is soft and silky. Not coarse and frizzy, like it would always be when I did it.  Lesson learned.

PS: I've decided to start accepting Hair Treatment Donations.

Bren

My name is Bren, and I coupon.

I've said before that I am a couponer. Yes, I am one of those people who holds up lines, questions the cashier when something doesn't ring up correctly, and there is usually a manager involved at some point. Now, I am a couponer, but I am NOT an extreme couponer. I have never been able to go into the grocery store and spend $4.39 on a $16 million order. I am happy when I can save more than I spend.

People have asked me how long I've been couponing. Well, that depends on how you look at things. I started clipping coupons when I first got married (22 years ago). I got more aggressive about it when our kids came along. But, and this is a BIG but, I always forgot to take them with me to the store! I would have boxes, envelopes, bags and organizers full of coupons.... all sitting in the cabinet. I would occasionally remember to take some with me, but then would realize on the way home that I forgot to give them to the cashier. Oh yes, I was one extreme couponer! Now flash forward 22 years. I was watching that show on TLC. You know the one. And thought, "Hey, I want groceries that will feed my family of five for a month for $.74." I mean, who wouldn't? Right?? So, I got organized. I found a binder, had some old baseball card sleeves and got up at 6:00 am on Sunday morning to buy 8 papers. I clipped and clipped and clipped and clipped and clipped. I sorted and sorted and sorted and sorted and sorted. Then I decided that 8 papers was really too much. Since then, I've scaled down to two papers (much more manageable), unless I find out that there is going to be a REALLY good coupon in the paper.

This new organized me started in May. Since then I can honestly say that I have saved over $2,000. I buy things only when they are on sale or I have a coupon. The best savings is when you can combine sales and coupons. I do not have a basement piled high with enough food and toiletries to supply Somalia for a year. But, I do have enough for my family for at least a little while.

So, I wanted to share my Harris Teeter trip with you. This week the great grocery chain was having Super Doubles. Meaning, they would double the value of any coupon with a printed value of up to $1.98 (usually stores only double coupons that are up to .99). This means that all of my $1 off coupons have instantly become $2 off, and my $1.50 coupons are now $3 off. You get the idea. So anyway, I went last night and the store had been cleared. There was nothing left of the things on my list. * I will note here that I am NOT a shelf clearer.* This morning, I heard through the couponing grapevine that Harris Teeter had restocked their shelves. The angels were singing and I heard their calls!

Here's what I was able to get today:
4 packages of Sargentos shredded cheese
2 boxes of Trix cereal
2 boxes of Honey Nut Chex cereal
1 Sara Lee pound cake
8 Totinos pizzas
2 packages of Pepperidge Farms Goldfish
2 boxes (24 ct) Eggo waffles
2 packages of Pillsbury brownie delights
2 bottles of Tropicana orange juice
1 carton of Minute Maid orange juice
1 gallon of milk
3 containers of Activia yogurt
2 packages of English muffins
4 packages of Oscar Meyer turkey hot dogs
2 large bags of Snyder's tortilla chips
1 3-packs Orbit gum
2 squeeze bottles of Parkay butter
1 package of Old El Paso Tortilla stuffers
1 box Cocoa Pebbles cereal
1 box of Honey Comb cereal

I paid $60.36, and according to my receipt, I saved (drum roll, please) $108.88.

Also, notice that everything I bought is BRAND NAME (except the milk & English muffins, which were HT brand). My family had been living off generic for so long, they forgot what the "real" stuff looked & tasted like! Before, a typical trip to the grocery store would run between $250-$300, EVERY week! I am proud to say that I have dropped that amount significantly.

So how much are you saving?

Bren

Thankful Thursday

It is Thursday, so that means it is Thankful Thursday today.

So, what am I thankful for today?

1. Toilet paper
(Remember, it will always be at the top of my list. And, there are some days where I am a little more thankful than others that I have plenty of it.)

2.  Coupons
Yes, I am a couponer. I'll talk about this another time. But today I'm thankful that I had coupons and was able to get three free shirts!

3.  My comfy bed
Where I do most of my blogging.

4.  Red Box
DVDs for $1, and if you've got coupons they're usually FREE!

5.  Facebook
Depending on whose status I'm reading, I can feel either very old or pretend that I am still young and hip.

6.  Tomorrow is payday!
No explanation necessary on this one.

7.  I won free pizza today!
Yum!

8.  There was one last Diet Dr. Pepper in the fridge.
DH and I decided to give up all soda buying, so I am savoring my last one!

9.  Fairly normal hair
Tried to get a picture of a lady I saw last night at a restaurant whose hair extended at least 12" ABOVE her visor. 

10.  That my teen-aged sons know how to do their own laundry.
Teen-age boy clothes STINK!!

What are you thankful for today?


Bren

Fun Facts Friday

Yes, I know it's Saturday, but if I did everything in a timely manner I would not be an Incurable Mess, now would I??

Today I am dedicating this blog to all of our government officials.

1.  In Indiana, it is illegal to take a bath between the months of October and March.
Note to self: do NOT go to Indiana for Christmas.

2.  In Baldwin Park, California it is illegal to ride a bike in a swimming pool.
Well dang...

3.  It is against the law in Hawaii to put a coin in your ear.
But it didn't say anything about putting it up your nose.

4.  In New York, it is illegal for a woman on the street to wear "body hugging clothing". However, it IS legal for a woman to go topless in public, as long as it is not being used as a business.
No comment...

5.  It is illegal to eat ice cream on Sundays in Oregon.
That is why today is National Vanilla Ice Cream Day. An excuse to eat the whole container today.

6.  In West Virginia, it is perfectly legal to take home roadkill for supper.
Strangely, I'm not surprised.

7.  A recently passed law in Texas requires criminals to give at least a 24 hour notice to their victims, either verbally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.
Hey buddy, I'm going to break into your house tomorrow night at precisely 10:45 pm. Please make sure to turn your alarm off and put your dog up. Thanks.

8.  An elephant may not be used to plow cotton fields in North Carolina.
Well, now what I am going to do with Jumbo?

9.  Women in Vermont must obtain written permission from their husbands in order to legally wear false teeth.
I wonder if those who are unmarried or widowed must only eat pudding and oatmeal?

10.  It is illegal in the state of Florida to fart in a public place after 6 pm.
I know so many people who would be arrested for this one!

Bren

Thankful Thursday

Well, it is Thursday again, so I guess that means it is time for Thankful Thursday...

I have discovered a new show on Lifetime that is strangely addictive. Dance Moms follows a handful of mothers whose preteen daughters are competitive dancers at a studio in PA owned and operated by a-piece-of-work coach named Abby. As a "Cheer Mom" of a preteen competitive cheerleader, I find that I have a lot in common with these mothers. Like them, I put hundreds of miles on my car each month taxiing my daughter to and from practice. Like them, I spend hours upon hours each week volunteering my time to do whatever is needed, spending more time at the gym than I do at home. Like them, I want my daughter to succeed at what she loves. So, what exactly am I thankful for? I am thankful for all the many ways that I and the other cheer moms are NOT like them.

1.  To my knowledge, the police have never been called to escort one of our parents off the premises.

2.  We are a boring bunch. Which is why, I'm sure, Lifetime has not come knocking on our door.

3.  With mere minutes before our kids hit the stage, we are in the front row ready to cheer them on, not at the bar getting hammered.

4.  We know that our coaches truly love each and every one of our kids, just as if they were their own. As a result, our kids love their coaches.

5.  We get along. Really. For the most part, we do. And I am thankful for the many dear friends that I have made at the gym.

6.  Our coaches would NEVER ever let our kids dress or dance like prosti-tots.

7.  We are not paying $16,000 a year! Although, I haven't actually added it up....

I could go on and on. But the bottom line is, I am thankful that I am not on national television, because with the right editing, I guess anyone can look like a psycho.

What are you thankful for?

Bren

Random Ramblings

I always seem to have random thoughts in my head, and usually there is a conversation or two. I am rarely at a loss for words, and this week I will share some with you.

1.  I really really want to "accidentally" step on the back of someone's pants who are wearing them so low they are hanging off their butt and are having to use one hand to constantly pull them up. I'm sure it probably wouldn't faze them, but it would give me great satisfaction.

2.  Shooting milk out of your nose actually burns a little, but not as much as soda.

3.  As I get older, I have found that I have more things in common with Whoopie Goldberg. Only, I'm not willing to make a commercial about them.

4.  A wet dog stinks really bad. However, a wet dog who was playing with a dead animal and is now asleep and passing gas is even worse.

5.  I must rely on other people's memories of my childhood, because I can't remember a thing.

6.  If you take the time to clip and plan with coupons, you can save a lot of money. And tick off all the people in line behind you at the same time.

7.  Americanized Mexican food is better than Mexicanized American food.

8.  If you really want to embarrass your teenagers, mow the grass in a tube top and curlers.  
Note: I have never done this, since I have broken all child labor laws by having my offspring mow the grass themselves. However, the thought has crossed my mind....

9.  No matter how hard you try, there are some children that you just cannot "trick" into eating generic.

10.  The advantage of having maxed out credit cards, an empty bank account and bad credit is that nobody wants to steal your identity.

Bren

Fun Facts Friday

It's officially Friday, so time for Fun Facts Friday!

1.  Watching an hour-long soap opera burns more calories than watching a three-hour baseball game.

2.  Pearls melt in vinegar.
Do not try this one at home, especially if the pearls are not yours.

3.  Every citizen of Kentucky is required by law to take a bath at least once a year.
I'm not sure I would want to be the person that has to enforce this one!

4.  However, if you lived in Boston in 1845, you had to have a doctor's prescription to bath.

5.  There is enough energy in one bolt of lightning to power a home for two weeks.
Just think how much we could save on our electric bills!

6.  The ears of a cricket are located on the front legs, just below the knee.

7.  In New York, it is illegal to shoot a rabbit from a moving trolley car.
But I guess it's okay if the trolley has stopped.

8.  In Alabama, it is illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter to church.
However, bad toupees are perfectly legal, no matter how much they make someone laugh.

9.  The only nation whose name begins with an "A", but doesn't end in an "A" is Afghanistan.

10.  In Michigan it is illegal to place a skunk inside your bosses desk.
To the other 49 states.... please send me a video if you do this!

Note: All facts listed here were found on a new app I downloaded onto my phone. A really cool app that gives me hours of fun when in a meeting, however I cannot take responsibility if they are not true.

Bren

Thankful Thursday

It's Thursday, so I guess that means that it is Thankful Thursday today. Today I'm am thankful for the little people.

1.  Joseph Gayetty
The inventor of modern day toilet paper, which is always at the top of my list!

2.  H. B. Reese
A dairy farmer and shipping foreman for Milton S. Hershey and the man behind the Reese's Cup.

3.  Charles Alderton
The creator of Dr. Pepper. My brand of energy.

4.  Thomas Crapper
We should all be thankful for Thomas Crapper who made the 4:00 am trips to the...umm... crapper.. much more comfortable by moving them inside!

5.  Percy Spencer
The inventor of the microwave oven. Without him, my family would never eat.

6.  Alexandre F. Godefoy
The inventor of the hair dryer.  I owe my non-curly days to him.

7.  Unknown
I couldn't find who actually came up with the idea for the TV remote control, but couch potatoes across the world rejoice.

8.  Verron Rudolph
The man behind Krispy Kreme. I just love seeing that Hot Now sign light up!

9.  John Cowie
The creator of the modern day Flip Flop. Now if he could have just invented a way to wear them in the rain without flipping water & mud up the back of your legs....

10.  Joseph C. Shivers
In one word... SPANDEX! A huge huge Thank You,  Mr. Shivers!

What are you thankful for today?

Bren

Being a Cheer Mom

You would think that being the mother of a cheerleader is easy. It seemed so simple at first...

As I have mentioned previously, I have a drama queen 9-year old that is also a cheer diva. She began her cheer career at the ripe old age of 7 with a once-a-week tumble class. We were looking for something fun and active that she could do, that she would enjoy and that would also allow her to expend some energy (a nice way of saying, she was wild and I needed a break and prayed that she would conk out early each night). I didn't mind the drive to the gym in another county, and I looked forward to that one hour each week when I would get to talk with actual adults (not just pretend to have conversations with the ones I would occasionally see on TV since our TV was usually tuned in to the Disney Channel or Nickelodeon).  Within a couple of months my daughter had decided that she wanted to be on one of the cheerleading teams at the gym "more than anything else in the world". Since these teams were competitive teams that traveled around doing competitions, my husband and I decided it would be best to take her to a competition first, so that she could see what all was involved. We knew that once she saw the raised stage, the bright lights, the very loud music, stern looking judges and the thousand people watching - she would run for the hills. Yea, right.

But in my mind, cheerleading can't be that time consuming for me, right?

Two years, a gazillion dollars and just as many miles on my car later, I have been appointed a Team Mom, A Gym Mom, Booster Club President, coordinator of whatever, snack bar supply getter, the mom who always has whatever you need in her bag, the copy maker, the garbage collector, the idea bouncer, the money collector, phone answerer, fundraiser organizer.... you get the idea.
 
The once-a-week trip to the gym is a distant memory. A typical day now usually begins with a wake-up call from a coach, followed by a quick shower, the inhalation of a banana or granola bar (ok, usually it's a Reese's Cup) while speeding safely driving down the highway to get to my diva to practice on time. By the time we return home, the sun has long set and I want nothing more than to go to bed or a shot of something strong.

So here I am. At the gym. Writing my blog. I've been here since 8:45 this morning and will be here until 9:00 tonight. I haven't seen the other members of my family in three days. I think they still live with me, but I'm not sure at this point. The only evidence of them has been a sink full of dirty dishes and massive amounts of empty food wrappers/boxes and soda cans in the trash/recycle bin.

Yes, I am a cheer mom (I even have a t-shirt that says so). I am my daughter's biggest supporter. And despite the empty checkbook, endless volunteer hours, countless drive-thru meals and the real temptation to put a blowup mattress in the gym office, in the end - it is all worth it!

National Champion!

Bren

Fun Facts Friday

First of all, yes, I do know that today is Saturday. However, I just came up with the title and Fun Facts Saturday just didn't work for me. So, starting next week, I will try to post on Friday. But, I'm not making any promises.

Fun Facts Friday

1)  Fingernails grow nearly 4 times faster than toenails.

2)  People who ride on roller coasters have a higher chance of having a blood clot in the brain.

3)  In Lehigh, Nebraska it's against the law to sell donut holes.

4)  Both George Washington and Thomas Jefferson grew cannabis on their plantations. For those of you not familiar with the more scientific name: cannabis is pot.

5)  1 million dollars in pennies weighs 246 tons.

6)  Most people blink about 17,000 times a day.

7)  It is illegal to stick chewing gum on the end of your nose in Somalia.

8)  When you blush, your stomach lining also reddens.

9)   Snoring is prohibited in Massachusetts, unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.

10) It is also illegal in Massachusetts to go to bed without first having taken a bath/shower.

Well, it's a good thing my family doesn't live in Massachusetts!  What are your fun facts?

Bren

The Great Hamster Chase

I am a sucker. I will be the first to admit that.

Recently my daughter wanted a hamster. She talked about nothing else for weeks. So I finally gave in and took her to the pet store to pick out a little furry rodent. And cage. And rodent igloo. And running ball. And bedding. And food. And....and.....and....  It was a cute little thing, and once again - I'm a sucker. My daughter named it Cookie Dough and we brought her home, put her cage together and helped her to settle into her new surroundings. She seemed content, but little did we know that Cookie Dough is a master escape artist.

A little less than 48 hours later, I discovered that Cookie Dough had made a break for it when one of her crawling tubes was not properly secured. How the little sucker was able to push the tube completely loose and off of the cage is still a mystery. We weren't even sure how long the fuzz ball had been missing. For hours we scoured my daughter's bedroom. We tore apart her bed, her nightstand, the dresser, the boxes of toys. Dumped out her basket of shoes and another basket of stuffed animals. We searched her closet, then did it all again. And again.  Then we moved on to our son's room, then the bathroom and finally my room. We searched every nook and cranny, then took our search downstairs. Could a rodent the size of a chicken nugget really make its way down a flight of stairs? We weren't sure, but with a child in hysterics, we were going to keep searching. That is when we noticed that one of our dogs was looking rather satisfied. Guilty even. This is the canine that likes to bring us "presents" and leave them at the door. We have been blessed with gifts of mice, birds, frogs, moles (lots of moles) and the occasional groundhog (I kid you not!). This is also the same dog that had not taken her eyes off of Cookie Dough since we brought her home. Taps began playing in my head. And as the realization of what had occurred began to sink in with my daughter, her wailing increased ten-fold. Cookie Dough had come to our family as a pet and ended up as a midday snack.

My husband and I felt so bad, that we (yes, we both are suckers) went out and bought another fuzzy chicken nugget. Cookie Dough 2. We brought her home and got her settled into her predecessor's cage, making sure that everything was securely connected (we wanted to keep our dog on a strict dog-food-only diet!).

That night, our still distraught daughter decided to sleep in our bed. She had not quite warmed up to Cookie Dough 2 yet. So we all settled in: my husband, my daughter, me, and two of our dogs who sleep under our bed. At 3:00 am we hear scratching under our bed and one dog (the gracious present giver) jumps up bumping her head on the bed rails. My husband and I sit bolt upright. Could it be? No, it was impossible. But we were going to check to be sure. As my husband escorts (ok, throws) the dog out of the room (to be on the safe side) I peer under the bed. Actually, I was laid out flat on my belly with a flashlight. There under the bed I see a dust ball with feet fly past our Chi-weenie (who is completely oblivious and just wants to go back to sleep). For the next hour we chase, corner, search, listen, and build baracades. We look like we are reenacting an episode of the Three Stooges. Our daughter is sitting on the bed shouting instructions "She went that way! Over there!). Cookie Dough certainly is a sneaky one, not to mention lightening fast! We trap her under the bed and she bolts for the nightstand. We block her exits and she slips past anyway leaving a blazing tail towards the chest-of-drawers. She bolts out from the back and runs behind a bookcase. I finally have her cornered when she decides to try to make another break for it and runs up inside a roll of wrapping paper. There is no escaping now! Once I finally have her and our daughter is rejoicing, we have to figure out what to do with her. Cookie Dough 2 has taken up residence in her cage, and we quickly learned that hamsters that were not raised together cannot bunk together. Lucky for me, we had a spare found-at-a-yard sale cage that my daughter had initially refused to use because of the color. By 4:00 am we were the proud owners of two Cookie Doughs in two cages. And life just got more complicated!

Cookie Dough 1 has since gone on to escape two more times. The first of which, she was found and captured behind the couch in the living room. The second time, however, she actually did not escape so much as was helped out of her "holding pen" (a big box with some shavings where we put her when we are cleaning her cage). Yes, she was helped out. By our dog. Who had her in her mouth. I did mention she hadn't taken her eyes off of the fur ball. My son was able to get the dog to drop her, then with another Stooges reenactment, we caught her once more.

Cookie Dough 1

Chloe (the gift giver) just waiting for opportunity to strike - again

Anyone want a little furry chicken nugget?

Bren

Thankful Thursday

Once again I am going to take a cue from my sister-in-law who writes a Thankful Thursday each week. (Although, sometimes it shows up on Wednesday).

This Thursday I am thankful for:

1)  Toilet paper!  This really should at the top of everyone's list. Just imagine what we would do if the world's supply of toilet paper suddenly disappeared?  Now I am all for historical reenactments, but that is one reenactment that I really do not want to have to participate in! But you know what they say -  that history repeats itself, which is why I now have a stockpile of approximately 100+ rolls, which should last my family about... a week. Better find some more coupons.

2)  Deodorant. Once again, another reenactment in which I do not want to participate. Yes, I also have a stockpile of deodorant as well. Twenty-eight of them to be exact. But I may have to carry a few in my purse to pass out to others I may encounter in a crowded elevator who possibly ran out that day.

3)  The internet, but especially Al Gore who created it. Thanks, Al!

4)  Little Debbie's snack cakes. Need I say more?

5)  My newspaper delivery lady. I will get into this more at a later date, but I am very thankful to her this week.

And last, but certainly not least...

6)  Tennis rackets.  It is my weapon of choice this week as I make my way to the mailbox each day and am attacked by the million June bugs that obviously didn't realize that it is July!

What are you thankful for today?

Bren

The tears of youth

I was planning on writing about something else today, but changed my mind with events unfolding at my homestead.

My 9-year old cheerleading diva just burst into tears. Not "look at me because I need attention" tears, but real sobbing, shirt soaking, alligator tears. She did the same thing a few days ago. Now, to understand my (and my dh's) frustration with this is know that typically when our daughter is upset, she refuses to talk. At all. Not a word. Nada. Just sobbing and wailing. And usually we have no idea what is wrong. Such is the case as of late...

When our daughter sunk into her wailing isolation a few days ago, it took us HOURS to finally get her to speak. The cause of her the-world-is-over-for-me tears? Club Penguin. For those of you not familiar with Club Penguin, it is an internet game by Disney, where members create an animated penguin, decorate an animated igloo and play silly games. Yes, an internet game has brought my child to producing rivers of tears. And not just once. The incident a few days, the one that took hours to figure out, was over the fact that she could not log into this virtual penguin land. Turns out, Disney forgot to renew it's web domain. Disney. The company that was built on making children happy had now done something that produced an ocean of tears for children all over the world! In my mind, it wasn't such a big deal. An inconvenience, yes, especially since we are paying a nominal monthly fee for our daughter to have access. But apparently for the countless kids out there, this event was of catastrophic proportions.

Today's ordeal was almost as life-ending. The cheer diva's special code did not open the right virtual catalog! Oh, the horrors! To be young again...

Of course, I may be reduced to tears as well if I had ordered Cosmo and got Fisherman's Digest instead.

Random Ramblings

My dear sis-in-law writes a blog every Monday called Monday Miscellany. I have decided to follow her lead and will try to do something similar each week. However, me being me, I will not put any day of the week in the title. I will be doing good just to write one blog each week, much less on the same day! So therefore, I am calling it Random Ramblings and I will be free to post it whenever I get around to it. For some of you, many of my random thoughts or ramblings will be taken directly from my status updates on Facebook, so you are free to ignore them, if you want.

* Today is July 4th. The day when we celebrate the birth of our country and independence from England. The day we give thanks for our freedoms and those who fight for those freedoms. The day we watch spectacular fireworks displays with oohs and aahs. The day we celebrate with friends and family over hamburgers and hotdogs fired on the grill. For me, this is a day when I celebrate no bills in the mail!

* Capital One keeps sending me emails and snail mail asking me to transfer my balances from other credit cards to theirs. Hmm, I'm pretty sure that in my last bill from them it said that I had reached my limit (which wasn't all that big to begin with).

* Last week someone destroyed our mailbox and our neighbor's. I heard the impact, but in the time it took me to look out of the window (all of 3 seconds), the vehicle was gone, but had left a trail of flying mail and scattered mailbox pieces in its wake. My dh (Dr. J) was able to piece ours back together again, but our neighbor's had endured the brunt of the trauma and was too far gone to be revived. The only bright spot to this tragedy is that the vehicle left behind a shattered headlight, and one can only hope it also sustained a big dent, lots of scratches and possibly a broken windshield. Heh!

* While working on some paperwork the other day, I found myself watching a Bonanza marathon. I will admit that I was too lazy to find the remote that was buried under the mounds of papers to change it. Besides, young Michael Landon was hot! Anyway, I noticed that all the commercials were for AARP, Depends, Medicaid, Life Insurance for Seniors, the Scooter Store, medical supplies by mail..... Are we seeing a pattern here? Does this mean that because I actually enjoyed watching a few Bonanza reruns, that makes me old? Which brings me to my next ramble....

* While watching Bonanza, I witnessed a State Marshall shoot a man just for standing in his way, a bar room brawl because someone looked at a lady wrong, and countless other things that had me thinking "If that happened today, there would be a lawsuit." Oh, the sue-happy world we live in. Makes me want to go back in time and just punch some people solely for being buttheads and not have to worry about being sued.

* This week (and forever) I will be working on getting my house organized. For those of you who know me and have been to my house, you can stop laughing now! The problem that I am running into is that my house is like a Catch 22. For instance, I have a stack of books in my room that need to go on the bookshelf. However, in order to put them on the bookshelf, I will need to clean off the bookshelf to make room. Cleaning off the bookshelf will result in my having other things that need other homes.... you get the idea.

* Two weeks ago I started Weight Watchers. The first week I lost 4 pounds. Yeah. However, last week, after watching what I ate and practically starving myself, I had gained back a pound. Hmf. So, in retaliation last night I ate 3/4 of a pizza! Take that Weight Watchers!

Bren

Now Entering the Twilight Zone

I've always been aware that there are usually multiple people with the same name. My father is one of them. Although he is not a "John Smith", it's pretty darn close! It has caused him problems throughout the years, most recently with the Border Police. I would have loved to have been witness to that interrogation of an 80 year old!

For me, I never thought of my name as being common. I had met a few people with my first name, many with my last, but never anyone with my first and last. However, my unknowing bliss came to a screeching halt when I went away to college. It was upon freshman registration that I learned that there was another student with my name. And not just first and last, but middle as well! I was fortunate, this student decided early on to receive her education elsewhere and I was able to return to my state of semi-bliss. I say semi, because just knowing that there is someone else out there with YOUR name is a little unnerving.

As my college years went by, I forgot about the other me. I was thrilled when I got married. My all-too-common last name would finally be changed, albeit to only a slightly less common name. I continued in my bliss, throwing out my new name to every government agency, credit card company, relative, prospective employer, and basically anyone else with whom I came into contact. At a routine check-up at my doctor's, the "newbie" (I will call her that because I had not seen her before) came into the exam room and started with the typical banter "Hi. How are you doing?" and such. As she looked at my chart, she paused then asked "And how have you been doing since the lumpectomy?" On the verge of tears, shaking and only partially clothed, I managed to squeak out a "The what?" followed by her saying "You are (enter name here with newly acquired last name). "Um (gulp) yes", I said. I guess I scared her as much as she scared me, because she suddenly got this look of "Oh crap" and darted out of the exam room. When she came back, it was as if she were entering the room for the first time. The only indication at all that this was a second go-around, was a muffled "Now I have the right chart". POP! There went my bliss bubble!

This realization of the new other me with my new last name happened twenty years ago. Since that time, she and I have crossed paths several times but have never formally been introduced. So I am here to introduce myself. Hello BW, I am BW. We live in the same town and apparently shop at many of the same places. I know this because several clerks have, upon checking my ID, have commented that they know you, or maybe there is another one of us. I've never really thought much about you, but have always known that you were around. At times, I must admit, it has been comical. It has never really been an inconvenience (except that doctor visit!). You've just always sort of been there, like a freckle on the back of my hand.

Three years ago I worked for a company that did business with you. Your information found its way to my desk in a stack of files to which I had to make follow-up calls. I can honestly say that I have never in my life made a phone call like that! Luckily you were not home and I got your answering machine. The message I left went something like "Hello. This message is for (insert my name). This is (insert my name again) from (company name)." I'm sure there was an uncomfortable pause there along with maybe a weird chuckle before asking you to call our office. Luckily, when you called back I had already left. After a while, you returned to the "just there" status in my head. Until this morning.....

My insurance company called. I am sure that the girl had something important to ask me, but she was doing nothing but confusing me. The conversation went something like this (after initial introductions):
Her: "I'm calling about the fax you asked me to send to (previous insurance company) yesterday."
Me: "I didn't ask you to send a fax. I've already notified (same previous insurance company) that we've changed. I called yesterday to get the fax number, but I didn't ask you to fax anything."
Her: "You called and asked me to send them a fax. They need verification for your teenage son."
Me: "I've already told them about my teenage son."
Her: "You did called yesterday?"
Me: "Yes. I bought a new vehicle and needed to add it to my policy."
Her: "Right. We spoke about adding that vehicle and dropping the other company's policy, but they needed proof of your son's coverage."
Me: "No. They never said that to me. And you worked out my sons' coverage yesterday."
Her: "You asked me to fax them....."
Me: "Hold on. Honey, did you call (new insurance company) and ask them to fax something to (old insurance company)?
My DH: "No."
Me: "I called to get a fax number...."
Her: "And you added a truck."
Me: "Um, no, I added a car."
Her: "Oh. (long pause) I've got the wrong BW." POP!!

So this note is for you. The other me. The other BW. Our paths have crossed many times, and I am sure they will cross again. But, switching from the same insurance company to the same new insurance company. With the same agent. Buying a new vehicle at the same time. And calling on the same day with some of the same questions is a little too close for comfort.

PS: Please check your insurance policy!

SPAM

I love my blackberry. In fact, I'm not sure that I would know how to function without it now that I have it. It's like the TV remote - I remember having to get up and walk across the room to change the channels and/or volume, but now I find myself walking all over the house looking for batteries when the remote dies rather than just getting up and walking a few feet to change to channel. Why is that?

One of the things I love most about my blackberry is the fact that I can receive my emails on it without having to constantly check my computer. This has been a lifesaver at times. Okay, maybe it didn't actually save my life, but it has been known to save me a trip to a nearby county when my daughter's practice has been canceled at the last minute. It is just so convenient to be able to instantly receive and read my emails. And, I LOVE the fact that my blackberry does NOT receive the SPAM!! Okay, occasionally a few get through, but rarely.

Now that I can receive my important emails on my cell phone, I don't check my email on the computer as much. So, when I got into my SPAM folder today I discovered it was inundated with junk. I must admit that Yahoo does a pretty good job at keeping out the SPAM, but it could be better. Which brings me to my question.... how exactly do companies know WHO to send SPAM to? I once thought that it was by cookies. You know, those pesky little tracking devices put on your computer by websites that you visit (intentionally or not). But now I'm not so sure. Yes, I did click on a "Work From Home" ad once (just to see) and was overloaded with SPAM about surveys and mystery shoppers. However, lately I've been getting a lot of emails about meeting Latino singles in my area. Hmm, I am neither Latino nor single. So how did I get picked to be the recipient of such SPAM? I sometimes receive emails inviting me to meet single women. Once again, I'm married.....to a MAN! And I am sure that these are not invites to knitting circles. I receive emails daily wanting me to "Improve my Portfolio" or informing me that I've won a shopping spree to Wal-Mart or Best Buy. As much as I would love to have a free shopping spree, something tells me that it's not. Maybe you receive SPAM based on your age. My husband receives daily multiple emails touting the benefits of such prescriptions as Viagra and Cialis. But the best one so far was in my SPAM folder yesterday. I had not one, but three emails from the Hair Club for Men! Really?? Now I know how they got my name - someone there must have read my blog!

Bren