Sunday, August 5, 2012

If Life Were Like An Old Movie...

I love watching old movies. I should clarify, not just any old movies. I prefer the black and white chick flicks of the day. I'm not a John Wayne fan and can do without cowboys, gunfights, and soldiers trudging through mud.

I spent part of the day today watching a classic from the 1930's. I'm sure it didn't win any Academy awards, but it is a classic in my book nonetheless. Why? The reason is simple. Oh, if life were only like an old black and white.

This particular movie centered around four sisters. I can relate, as I am one of four sisters. I will refer to them as Sister A, Sister B, Sister C and Sister D.

Exhibit 1: Sister C, who is rocking a flat-as-Texas stomach, goes into labor. Seriously, there was absolutely no bulge, bump or bloating whatsoever! Really?!? I was sporting the beached whale look months before I gave birth.

Exhibit 2: After giving birth to a "preemie" (not sure how preemie, given the figure of the expectant mother!), Sister C is presented with her newborn. Enter hospital nurse carrying a 4-month old. I could have done without the first few months of no sleep and round-the-clock feedings!

Exhibit 3: Nowhere in Sister C's hospital room is there a plastic water pitcher with matching plastic cup, bed pan, beeping machines with wires going everywhere, etc. Instead, set out neatly on the bedside table are the patient's silver hairbrushes (I am only guessing that they were silver since the movie was in black & white). Okay, the next time I am in the hospital, please dispense of all equipment, plastic ware, dry erase boards and latex glove containers mounted to the wall.  Instead, carefully place my hairbrushes on my bedside table (an equal distance apart from each other). I mean, that is really all that anyone needs anyway, right?

Exhibit 4:  When bringing hospital food to Sister C, it is not brought in on a plastic school lunchroom tray with plastic lids hiding the unpalatable morsels beneath. Nope. Her food was brought in on a silver tray complete with china tea set. Ok, so maybe she had a better HMO plan that I did!

Exhibit 5:  When learning that her husband would be returning from his tour "by winter", she responds with "She (the baby) will be 4 or 5 months old by then and talking really well."  Hmm, talking at 4 or 5 months and then maybe walking by 6 months, reading at 7 months and completely potty trained by 8 months. Yeah, I could deal with that. Just think, I could have a college graduate by the time my baby turns 3!

Enough of Sister C, let's move on to Sister A.

Exhibit 6:  Deciding that she wants to have a child, but not actually give birth, Sister A decides to adopt. She fills out the form, tells her husband afterwards and then all she has to do is wait...for about two weeks. And here we had multiple forms & evaluations, home studies, interviews, parenting classes, etc, etc, etc, and a 3 1/2 year wait, during which my husband had to be completely involved.

Exhibit 7:  Soon after adopting, Sister A gives birth to twins. Aww. Now enter Sister B and her husband who politely ask Sister A and her husband "Since you now have twins, could we have little _____ (insert adopted baby's name)." Yes, they are playing a round of hand-me-down children. Oh, you have two boys and I have two girls, so let's trade one!

I will note here that Sister D spent the entire movie chasing down a prospective husband. No baby drama for her.

Oh yes, if life were like an old movie I'd still fit into a Size 0, wouldn't know what a 2am feeding was, my hair would always be perfect, I would eat off of china & silver everyday (rather than plastic and styrofoam), I would have given birth to an infant prodigy, would have avoided endless adoption forms and parenting classes, and could have traded kids with my sisters!

Sunday, March 11, 2012

My Cheerleading Top Ten

The Top Ten things I have learned since my daughter started competitive cheerleading:

10.   People drink a heck of a lot of beer at NFL games!
        (Thank you for your patronage to our fundraising efforts!)

9.     You will never be able to remove all the glitter from your clothing, body, car or home!

8.     When it comes to bows, Minnie Mouse reigns supreme!

7.     Why join a fitness gym when you get to lug around a duffle bag, backpack, make-up 
        case, shoe case, gift bags, blanket, jacket etc, etc, etc, not to mention YOUR own stuff 
        at every competition??

6.     Real dedication means keeping that girl up in the air even when your shorts fall down to   
        your ankles!
        (Yes, this really happened! Luckily it was at practice and not in competition.)

5.     Why fly when you can ride in a bus for 13 hours (one way!) with 50 of your closest friends?

4.     For some reason, the cheerleaders can raise more money at car washes than the 
        parents can.

3.     Have your hearing checked regularly because you will eventually lose it.

2.     Your car will become your second home.

1.     To avoid carpal tunnel, it is easier to just hand over your checkbook!


Bren

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

My Two Cents Worth!

Actually, the more accurate title would be a much larger figure than .02, but that figure is no one else's business, so I will stick with the old .02 adage.

Lately, I have been reading a lot of articles on the subject of cheerleading. There is much debate on whether cheerleading should or should not be considered a sport. There is also much discussion as to whether parents should even allow their child/ren to participate. Some are of the opinion that cheerleading is just a waste of time and money. So, here is where I rant inform about cheerleading...

People have asked me, and others have just wondered, why we spend so much time and money for our daughter to cheer. Some have even gone as far as to ask how this is going to help her later in life or what are we hoping this will achieve? First of all, her idea of  "later in life" is Friday. Others have been quick to point out that cheerleading has one of the highest injury rates in the nation. It's true, cheerleading is dangerous - just as is every other sport that requires great physical exertion.

Cheerleading is NOT all about bubbly school girls with pom poms. However, that is the general public's idea of a cheerleader. Yes, school cheerleaders typically have pom poms that they shake while shouting a few cheers in support of their school's team. They probably do a few jumps and maybe a stunt or two or even a pyramid.  Some schools have competitive squads, which take cheerleading to a higher skill level. It is this type of cheerleading (school and/or rec) in which the most injuries occur. Falling off the top of a pyramid onto a wooden gymnasium floor or hard football field does not do the body good.

Cheerleading is also NOT all about the NFL or NBA dancers you see on TV in their booty shorts, bra tops and gyrating for the cameras and drunken fans. They work hard and get paid very little, but are dancers nonetheless.

Then there is competitive All Star cheerleading. These cheerleaders train year-round with certified coaches who help them develop their skills to the ultimate level. They practice and compete on spring floors padded with thick foam. Yes, it still hurts when you fall off the top of the pyramid, but you are much less likely to be injured. These cheerleaders compete at all levels, from the beginner to the elite. These cheerleaders not only perform for judges, they are performing for an audience. Their routines, which consist of stunting, pyramids, tumbling, cheer and dance, have to be perfect. These are the cheerleaders that college coaches look at first. But, as with any competitive independent (outside of school) sport, there are costs. And yes, it adds up. We have to pay for uniforms, special shoes, coaching fees, choreography fees, travel costs, bows (yes, bows are still the signature attire of a cheerleader), competition fees, and the lists goes on.

This is what my daughter does, All Star cheerleading. This is what she excels at. This is what she is passionate about. This is what she has never, in the three years she has been participating, asked to miss. Never. Not once. In fact, she begs to go early and stay late. EVERYDAY. Even when she is not practicing, she is asking to go to the gym. It has become her second home and the coaches, cheerleaders and parents have become her second family.  This is my child who refuses to speak to people she doesn't know and who hides behind me when spoken to. This is my child who, once she sets foot on the competition floor, becomes a very self confident, talented and athletic entertainer. Why wouldn't I want my child to be a cheerleader? Which is why you will most likely find me helping out at the gym, selling beer at NFL games, washing cars, holding bake sales & hot dog sales, selling candy bars, and doing whatever else I need to do to pay for my daughter to do what she loves to do!

For those who wonder where cheerleading will get her in life, I say where ever she wants to go! Beyond the college scholarships and the careers in coaching, there is an endless list of opportunities in the cheer industry (if that is what she wants to do). There are competition directors, cheer companies (big and small), gym owners, uniform designers, choreographers, cheer camps organizers and staffers, magazines devoted to nothing but cheerleading, radio & TV stations, videographers, photographers, etc., etc., etc.... So, for me, every dollar I spend on cheerleading I see as an investment in her future. Besides, who doesn't want to see their child happy!

Cheerleading requires dedication, commitment and sacrifices. It certainly is not for everyone.

One last thing...
For those who think that cheerleading is not a sport, try this:
From a standing position, throw yourself backwards while doing a full spin sideways before landing on your feet. Then, jump up in the air twice with your legs in a full spread eagle and touch your toes. As soon as your feet hit the floor, jump backwards again into a tuck and land on your feet. Then immediately throw yourself into two back handsprings before spinning into a full sideways twist. Then, go into another series of jumps, and they had better be pretty. Then run across the floor, fling yourself into a sideways tuck stepping out of it in one smooth motion before spinning sideways in the air once more. Don't fall! Then try a cartwheel, but you can't use your hands - at all. Go seamlessly into a choreographed dance, throw yourself into another backwards tuck, maybe throw in a front tuck for good measure before flying across the floor again and doing another sideways spin, only this time you spin two times around before landing, on your feet not your butt. Now do all of this (plus a few more things) while smiling, and we haven't even gotten to the stunting part! How about standing on one leg while three of your teammates hold you up in the air by the bottom of one foot. Now, take your other foot and pull it up over your head. Don't lean forward or backward or sideways - you might fall. Can't do it? My daughter can. She's ten and a cheerleader!



Bren
An Always Supportive Cheer Mom