New Year's Resolutions

Each year I make some resolutions for the new year. Each year I start out committed to keep and uphold each and every resolution. Each year I fail miserably, usually by January 3rd. So THIS year, I have convinced myself that if I put my resolutions on my blog for all (or the two of you that actually read it) to see, then I will HAVE to "stick with the program". I am optimistic, although I am not holding my breath.

1. Lose weight.
I am stuffing the last of my Reese's into my mouth as I write this!! Goodbye sweet friend. Parting is such.... um.... hard to do!

2. Get healthy.
Yes, I realize that this goes hand-in-hand with #1, but for me, I am so out of shape and could live off nachos and salsa that I really need to do better.

3. Find a paying job.
Now this one is going to be tough. First of all, I am a stay-at-home mom and rather like it. Second, I am a homeschool mom. Can't exactly bring along a 7-year old to the office. The perfect job for me would be one which would allow me work from home and still get paid. Any leads anyone?

4. Be neater.
I am a mess. Not only am I a mess, but I am a messy person. I am the queen of piles and baskets. There are so many piles and overloaded baskets in my home that need to be sorted through that if I start now I MAY finish in 2020!

5. Be more optimistic.
Is there such a thing as being pessimistically optimistic? If so, then I am that am MORE! I can find fault in everything (except Reese's - the food of angels).

6. Make a budget and stick to it!
This is another hard one. It would be easy if it were just me writing checks and using the debit card, but when you add in another person (no matter how much you love him), it just makes it more difficult. On more than one occasion, we have both paid the same bill on the same day!

I think I will stop here. Six seems to be a pretty round number, and a number that I think I might actually be able to do (yeah, right). I will try hard. I actually got on the elliptical TWICE today!! I may not be able to walk tomorrow, but at least I did SOME physically activity today to counteract the chips and salsa I had for breakfast.

Bren

Random Dozen

It's Wednesday, so that means it's time for "Random Dozen" from Linda at 2nd Cup of Coffee.



1. Gingerbread: For or against? Discuss.
I like the taste. However, I do have a problem eating body parts off of a cookie (makes me feel sort of like a cannibal) and gingerbread tends to give me the.....um..... um.... Let's just say that I end up in the bathroom a lot!

2. Is it important to you to always stay (live) close to family?
We live next door to my husband's father and step-mother and an hour away from my dad and step-mother. So, I guess the answer is "yes".

3. Which holiday pretend character do you wish really existed?
You mean some holiday characters are PRETEND?!?!?!

4. Which holiday movie best represents how you feel about Christmas or life?
It varies from year to year, but this year would be "It's a Wonderful Life" BEFORE Clarence gets his wings. Is that being a little pessimistic?

5. Is there a particular Christmas song that you're enjoying now? Any that you're tired of?
My favorite Christmas song is "Sleigh Ride". I can sing it all day much to the dismay of those around me. My ringtone right now is "A Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas". I've never liked the song "We Wish You a Merry Christmas". It probably has something to do with the line Oh give me some figgy pudding and give it right now and them not leaving until they get some. Who are these pushy people and remind me never to invite them to my house!

6. What is your favorite way to remember those less fortunate at Christmastime?
Each year we try to provide gifts for someone else, whether that be a shoeboxes for Operation Christmas Child, or presents for a family in our community.

7. Does it upset you to see "Xmas" instead of Christmas? How about "Happy Holidays" etc., instead of "Merry Christmas?"
It doesn't upset me. I don't use "Xmas" myself, but I have to respect others. In fact, due to my restrictive size, I'm pushing for the new slogan "Happy Elf Day"!

8. How many Christmas programs are you attending this month?
Let's see, I've been to the Nutcracker ballet with the Girl Scouts, I've seen my daughter sing in church, saw the in-laws in their cantada, and going to see a Christmas play tomorrow. Anything else anyone wants to throw onto my calendar? Since I homeschool, no school programs this year!

9. Are you dreaming of a white Christmas? Any chance of that dream becoming a reality?
Yes, I'm dreaming. I like to watch the snow - DON'T LIKE DRIVING IN IT (see last week's Random Dozen). Before global warming (yes, it REALLY does exist!) I'd say yes, there is a chance of a white Christmas, but we haven't had a white Christmas in a very long time.

10. Tell me about a Christmas present you received as a child. Pics are always nice.
One year I got a BIG doll house for my Barbies. It wasn't fancy, but my dad had made it and that made it special.

11. How many Christmas parties are you attending this month?
Lost count!

12. How do you keep yourself centered on the significance of Christmas?
This year I'm finding it very difficult! Any ideas?

Bren

Random Dozen

Each Wednesday, Linda at 2nd cup of coffee posts questions called "Random Dozen". So, thanks to my sister-in-law (The Bug), I have now joined in and will be posting my answers.


1. Which physical trait do you now accept--maybe not love, but accept--and no longer feel extremely self-conscious about?
My height. I'm not sure that I accept it, but have come to terms with it. I am 60 inches (that's 5 ft for the not-so-math-inclined, and saying 60 inches sounds taller than 5 ft). I'm not sure when I stopped growing, but it was probably sometime in junior high. My height-challengedness is biological. I can trace it back generations on both sides of my family. I've heard of surgeries that can actually make you taller, but they sound very painful. So instead, I married a man who is 6ft and can reach things on the top shelf.

2. This week Meredith Baxter Birney, best known as the mom on the favorite 80s sitcom "Family Ties" came out of the closet, which led me to formulate this question: Who do you think is/was the best TV mom?
I can identify with many TV moms. I loved the cool and smooth way that Claire Huxtable handled her kids, the caring and loving nature of Caroline Ingalls, and the kookiness of Carol Brady. But there are many times when I most identify with Roseanne Connor and her "don't you mess with me" attitude.

3. Do you speak any foreign languages? Are there any you'd like to learn?
Six years of French, so.... no. Forgot it all. I wish that I spoke Spanish. It would make communicating with many parents a lot easier. However, we do have large Hmong and Romanian populations in our community. But, those languages are way to complicated for me!


4. Who is your personal hero?
I have two heroes. My mom and my mother-in-law. Both were diagnosed with cancer on the same day and both fought hard until they just couldn't fight any longer. They passed away within nine months of each other.


5. What is one holiday food that you find extremely difficult to resist over- indulging in?
Preacher cookies. This is what my Grandmother called them because you could "Make 'em quick when you saw the preacher walking down the road towards your house." Most people call them boil cookies or no-bake chocolate cookies. Whatever you call them, I'm gonna eat all of them!

6. Tell me about a Christmas decoration that has special meaning or sentimental value.
Most all of my decorations have special meaning. I started collecting nutcrackers several years ago and have amassed in excess of a hundred. I also collect hippos, and have quite a few hippo ornaments that I will not part with. Our family Christmas tree is filled with ornaments that have been made by our children or picked up throughout our travels to remind us of where we were. The oldest ornament is a heart with my name and Dr. J's name that we bought on our honeymoon 20 years ago. Our Christmas stockings are very sentimental because they were made by my mother. Growing up, my sisters and I had similiar stockings with our names on them. As we each grew up and got married, my mother made a stocking for our husbands as well. Then the grandkids. Each one is a little different and reflects some kind of interest that that person has (Dr. J's has a basketball on it). When she passed away, other family members took over the job. So, the tradition continues.

7. How do you feel about snow?
Having grown up in Florida, I still find it fascinating. I like to watch it fall and watch the kids play in it. For me, it is too cold and wet and the Florida driver in me would rather strip the hardwood floors than drive in it.

8. On average, how many hours of sleep do you get each night? Not that I'm jealous of any number over three or anything.
Now that I am homeschooling my youngest, I don't have to get up early to make sure she's on the bus by 6:50. We sleep in and probably get a good nine hours in.

9. Tell me about your first crush.
The Karate Kid! Ralph M. (I am not going to try and tackle spelling his last name) I had his posters plastered all over my wall. Now I enjoy watching him on Ugly Betty.

10. You're stuck in a room for 2 hours with only a chalkboard and chalk. What will you write/draw?
I'd probably draw a cartoon of Ziggy, then curl up and go to sleep.

11. Do you dress for the current temp or for the day's forecast?
The current temp, which usually gets me in trouble later in the day when the temp changes.

12. Favorite Christmas movie is?
I LOVE sappy Holiday romantic movies. I have DVR'd most all of Fa La La La Lifetime!


Bren

Let's Talk Hair

I've struggled with many things throughout my life, but there is one thing that has remained a constant struggle for as long as I can remember - My hair.

According to my baby pictures, I didn't have any of the stuff until I was around two. I guess that is why when it did come in, my mother chose not to cut it for several years. In my kindergarten pictures, I have long blonde hair - the kind of hair that I would like to have now. By first grade, it was cut. I guess I got gum stuck in it one too many times. By second grade, I had bangs. BAD bangs. I grew up in Florida where humidity is measured not by percentages but by how much your hair frizzes and curls. And my bangs were no exception. They frizzed and curled out the sides of my head like devil horns.

Real disaster struck in the fifth grade. I wanted a new hair style. I wanted to be pretty and cool like the other kids. My mother's great idea was to get our neighbor to cut it for free. It was only afterwards, when I was crying buckets of tears did I find out that our neighbor's hair cutting experience was limited only to patients in the local nursing home. I was 10 years old with an 80 year old's hair cut. No, I've seen 80 year olds with better hair cuts than what I had. It took me years to recover from that, and as a result all school pictures for the next three years are well hidden and/or destroyed.

By eighth grade, it was the 80's and feathers were THE THING. I would work on my feathers at night to save time in the morning (I am NOT a morning person). I would wash and dry my hair, making sure to blow dry my feathers just so. Then I would spray them down with a can AquaNet (glue, really). Then, I would carefully place bobbi pins in the feathers to hold them in place throughout the night. The next morning, I would pull out the pins, brush through the spray, make any minor repairs that were needed, then respray. My feathers never quite looked like Farrah's, but I was getting there. I thought my bad hair was behind me. BOY WAS I WRONG!

In college I decided to get a perm (first mistake). I was home on break and my boyfriend at the time was coming down for a visit and I wanted to look HOT. Curls would be the answer. I found a coupon (second mistake) to a place I had never been (third mistake - I'm out!). I was washed and rolled and sat down to "set". Well, the bell dinged and I waited... and waited... and no one came. I knew then that I was in trouble. I left in tears, looking like a poodle (NOT an exaggeration!). When I got home I washed my hair over and over trying desperately to wash out the perm before my boyfriend got there. Nothing worked. I could see the look of shock on his face when he arrived, but he made the best of it and tried to smile. I knew he wouldn't be around much longer. Who would want to be with "Poodle Girl"?

There have been other bad haircuts throughout the years, but yesterday disaster struck again! I was informed that my husband was taking me to his high school reunion. I realized then that I had 24 hours to try to make myself look half-way decent. I drove to a shop that I had frequented many times before (years before), but was put in the hands of an unfamiliar person. I arrived a blonde in need of a touch up, but that is not how I left. Her first attempt left my hair red, BRIGHT red. She then tried to cover that up with BROWN, with some blonde in between. That left me with some really funky color patches, which then had to go through a third attempt! I left, came home and cried. My kids made fun of me, and more than once I heard "You should have gone to Frankie." Frankie is a friend and wonderful stylist, who is also VERY busy. He has done wonders with my hair in the past and my son refuses to go to anyone but Frankie. So Frankie, I'm sorry I went rogue. It will never happen again! I'm hoping Frankie can fix this mess that was created on my head. No, I'm PRAYING that Frankie can fix this mess!

But leave it to my dear husband to say the right things. "Well, at least it's not as bad as that poodle thing you did in college." God, I love that man!

Bren

Vandals

My home has been vandalized. If you have ever seen my house, you would probably ask yourself "How can they tell?" I will be the first to admit that I am NOT one to keep a clean house. At this moment I am trying to divert my eyes away from the stacks and stacks of stuff that need to be gone through, thrown out, given away or just put away. But yes, we were vandalized.

Throughout my years, I've seen homes that were egged by reckless youth (not me, of course) or tp'd (that's toilet-papered, if you didn't know) after a big game. I've always felt compassion for the homeowners who had to clean the mess in the morning. Wet tp - yuck! I've seen mailboxes dented from baseball bats, lawns strewn with trash, and even recently a front yard covered in pink flamingos (come on, THAT has to be vandalism!). I feel fortunate that other than the occasional drive-by littering, we had never been vandalized. (PLEASE DON'T GET ANY IDEAS!) But my serene existence has come to an end.

We came home to discover two holes in our garage wall. They are not large holes, but still an obvious indication that someone was trying to get into our house. As you can see by one of the pictures, the culprit(s) made it all the way through the drywall and stopped when he/she reached the blue insulation. And the vandalism was not confined just to the wall. A ladder, shop vac, several items from the recycle bin, gardenhose, spray can, roller blades, golf club, football and something else we haven't been able to identify were among the other items damaged in the attack.


We are not sure what prompted the vandalism. It could have been done to get to our electronics (take note: most of which are broken), although going through a door makes more sense than through the wall. It certainly wasn't to get to some secret stash of cash (Note: there is none - secret or not) or a jewelry box filled with the queen's jewels (think cheaper than cz). Priceless works of art? Maybe - I do have a couple pieces hanging on the refrigerator (beautifully colored inside the lines!). Our guess to the more probable reason - boredom. Yes, this (or these) culprits were probably bored and looking for entertainment - at our expense.

It did not take us long in our investigation to find and apprehend the perps. Yes, there were two. Both are juveniles, what a shame. However, we have decided not to press charges.

Perp #1Perp #2

But their punishment will be severe! I'm thinking BATH!

Bren

The Procrastinator

It is October and I have not even begun to think about Halloween. It is not because I am anti-Halloween or refuse to let my children participate, I actually enjoy Halloween in its full chocolate glory. No, it is because in my mind it is still September and Halloween is a distant holiday not to be thought of for at least four more weeks. WHEN DID IT BECOME OCTOBER??

So here I am on October 28, no pumpkins, no decorations, my youngest child has no costume and she has a costume party to go to in one hour!! Yes, I did conveniently forget about the party, but that was partly due to the fact that she has been sick and I just assumed (ok, hoped) that she wouldn't be well enough to attend. I am now feeling like the bad mom watching my seven-year old dig through her dress-up box looking for something to wear. ANYTHING to wear. The problem is most everything is too small. (It has been a while since we've gone through her dress-up box). Everything else is "too itchy".

When my boys were little I actually made their costumes. And there were some good ones, too. Among the favorites were a Hershey kiss, a pencil and a robot. As they got older, they wanted store-bought scary costumes. And by the time my daughter came along, I was thrilled to buy the princess dresses. It was a nice change from goblins, vampires, monsters and other creepy creatures.

But now what am I going to do? Thirty minutes and no costume. Maybe an old sheet with a couple of eyes cut out? Better yet, ONE eye (shows more character and takes less time!).

Bren

Misadventures of a Homeschooler - The Beginning

I think I will have to rename this blog "Misadventures of a Homeschooler" or "What Was I Thinking?" My daughter and I are on Day 3 of our new homeschool adventure. My dh, I'll refer to him as DrJ, (as a basketball fan, he LOVES this! However he is neither an MD nor a basketball player - at least not since knee surgery) and I decided on homeschooling after years of consideration. Many of my friends and relatives homeschool and I asked for their input on my decision. What I quickly learned was that everyone has their own idea about homeschool and their own style of teaching.

I must admit that I was confused about one method referred to as "unschooling". I thought that it must be some sort of traditional-school detox and I would need to set up an inhouse rehab center like you see on TV. Was my daughter going to need an IV drip of some solution called "Bully Busters"? Turns out, much to my relief, that "unschooling" is actually a teaching method where children learn by a more hands-on approach. No detox, whew!

What we (and I say "we" even though it is really "I", but I don't want DrJ to feel left out) decided was a more academic approach using lots of books and workbooks, but in a more relaxed and flexible setting. At least this is what I keep telling myself. And, so far it has worked. Of course, we are only on Day 3.

I am anticipating many battles, much frustration and I know that the few gray hairs that I do have will multiply rapidly. But at the same time my daughter and I are excited. She loves having school in her pjs and not having to raise her hand to get permission to use the restroom. We have decided that instead of just reading about things in books, we are going to go see them. Next week is the aquarium. I guess we really should get dressed for that one.

The Conformist

I have always been sucked into ideas put out there in society. A conformist if you will. I have believed that if I used a ThighMaster, my legs would look like they did when I was 16. There is a part of me that hopes that I can take a special pill, sit on my couch with a box of Little Debbies and a can of Diet Dr. Pepper, watch my favorite shows and still not only lose weight in six weeks, but also get buff and tan, too. I have drawers and cabinets full of potions, concoctions and appliances that society wants me to believe in, like Mighty Putty, Magic Bullet, Dent King, Ab Roller and Oxyclean (ok, that one really does work).

I believe all the things that my mother used to tell me. I don't sit too close to the TV for fear of going cross-eyed. I eat my carrots to make my eyes stronger (just in case I find myself sitting too close to the TV). I always hang the toilet paper so that it rolls over (not sure why this is important, but I do it anyway). I don't squeeze the toothpaste from the middle. And, I keep my elbows off the table.

I find myself watching reality tv and getting so emotional over people who are just wanting their five minutes of fame. I root for the underdog and boo (among other things) those that cause the trouble. Then I discuss them with my friends as if they are my next door neighbors.

I am constantly wondering why I nor anyone else I see in Wal-Mart look like the models on the boxes of hair dye, or in the make-up commercials or on the cover of the magazines at the checkout. (Okay, I realize that they probably don't shop at Wal-Mart, so maybe that is why I haven't seen anyone with their looks there.) But, I still keep buying the products and hoping that one day I will wake up to discover that I've lost 50lbs, grown 8 inches taller, and other parts of my body have miraculously corrected themselves, some have grown smaller while others have grown much bigger.

Yes, there are times when I can't take anymore and will watch the Classic Movie Channel with REAL movies starring people with names like Bogart, Bergman, Stewart, Poitier, and Hepburn.

I stopped watching soaps long ago. There was just too much drama and I couldn't keep up with who was with who or who had killed who or who was blackmailing who. But the breaking point came when one of my favorite characters, a little girl about six years old, left to go on vacation and came back the following week at the age of 19 and ready to take over the family business. I remember looking at my sons who were both still very little and thinking, "Maybe if I send you to Grandma's for the night, you'll come back fully potty trained and ready to start school." I tried it. It didn't work.

Yes, I have conformed to many of the things that society puts out there for us or that have been taught to us from an early age. However, yesterday I was a nonconformist. I broke a rule that had been instilled in me since childhood. A rule that passes from generation to generation in Americana.

I wore white AFTER Labor Day!

A Blog Virgin

Okay, I will be the first to admit that I am behind the times, this being my very first blog and all. In fact, it wasn't until my sister-in-law started sending me links to her blog that I understood what a blog was. Don't feel too sorry for me though, my husband still doesn't understanding this blogging thing. So after twelve attempts at a title that wasn't already being used, here I am a virgin blogger making my very small mark on the internet world.

Some may ask about the title of my blog. My only comment would be "Have you seen my house?". Oh I try not to be a mess, but apparently neatness just doesn't seem to work for me. In some aspects of my life I am quite organized, however these are few and far between. I own an iron, but don't use it (not sure I can find it). I burn every other dinner I attempt to prepare (although I'm pretty good at mac & cheese). I know nothing of car maintenance except that when the red hand points to "E" it's time to get gas. I've never used a lawn mower (thank goodness I have teen sons and a husband who considers it "relaxing"). I can't go outdoors in the Spring or Fall unless heavily medicated with allergy meds. Needless to say, I'm a mess. People have tried to cure me; my parents, husband, doctors, relatives, friends, etc. but to no avail. I am incurable. As a mom of three my life seems to be in constant chaos. I usually don't know where I'm going and sometimes I don't even know where I am. If it weren't for my recently acquired GPS, I'd still be driving around the back roads of Ohio trying to find my way out after a July 4th visit.

So starts my first blog. I am no longer a blog virgin. I will try to make my blogs interesting, but I'm not making any promises. All I can promise is that I will always be a mess.

Bren